THE DESIRE FOR GOD (or not) From time to time someone asks me what exactly my philosophy of life is, clearly implying that they want the nutshell version, and perhaps also suggesting that I talk too much. It feels as if they're proposing that I shut the hell up and just say what's on my mind. I'm always happy to oblige, because my philosophy of life, you see, is extremely simple. A child could understand it. It is, in a word, Desire, with a capital D. Now of course when I spew forth with this simple answer it is rare that the person I share it with simply accepts it and walks away. I always get the obligatory What do you mean? Which leads me down a path that is not quite so simple. Another way of stating my philosophy makes it a little clearer: Reasons don't matter (or even better: there are no reasons). At rock bottom, we are creatures of pure desire, literally compelled by primal urges. The justifications, or rationales, that we offer for our actions are little more than rags with which we attempt dress them up. We do this of course in the interest of complying with some kind of etiquette (and we do that because we desire to not be ostracized). Society has a way of putting pressure on us to make excuses for our actions. But if you think long and hard and deeply on it (which I do, because that's basically what a philosopher does, put things under a microscope and look at them from every conceivable angle), you invariably end up in the world of pure desire. We do things just because we want to. Take living for example. There is no reason to go on living, but there is plenty of desire to do so. There is basically but one desire: for survival. The desire for life is the primal urge, the one that's compelling us to get jobs so that we may eat, clothe ourselves, acquire shelter, get a mate. If you succeed in managing these things and have some time and money left over, you find yourself in the blessed (and cursed) position of having leisure. The existence of all religion is ultimately traceable to desire, namely, for a life that is unending. There are forces in operation that are beyond our control, forces which will ultimately kill us. This is something we most strongly desire not to happen. So we yearn for the existence of an omnipotent Being, One Who is capable of sustaining our life energy forever. If we assume the existence of such a Being (which most do), we do everything within our power to ingratiate Him (or, to put it in street parlance, to kiss His ass). And the same applies to the non-theist as well. In the same way that the masses want to believe in God, the atheist does not want to believe. And for the same reason: the desire to live. There is but one difference. The atheist desires to live now, in the present moment, and how can you do that if you truly (and fearfully) believe that a Monarch in the sky is sitting up there watching every move you make, and listening in on every pornographic thought you think? No. Hell, no. What kind of a life would that be? Put simply, it wouldn't. Real life is dynamic, wide open, with virtually anything possible. The road ahead is filled with unpredictable twists and turns, but there is no fear but that of dying now, in the present moment, and the idea that a Supreme Being has the power to be aware of every thing you do is the equivalent of a living death, right now. Real life is not constrained. Just ask an inmate doing a life sentence. At rock bottom, we believe in God simply because we want to. We have no proof of His existence either way. And those who choose not to believe in Him also do so from pure desire. They desire to not believe. The existence of such a Being can be a threat to the quality of their survival. We do not, after all, want mere survival. We hanker for it to be infused with a certain quality, and the idea of a big Dude up there watching every move we make can seriously diminish that quality. Sometimes we kid ourselves into believing in our rationales. As a matter of fact, most people do this. Take careers. A doctor may deliver a virtual sermon on why he/she chose to study medicine. But it's all a bunch of crap, every single word of it. There isn't a doctor anywhere who chose to practice medicine for any reason other than one based on some kind of desire. In the United States, that desire is nearly always connected to money, which is universally perceived as the ultimate tool for survival. Everybody wants to survive. It's that simple. And, if possible, they want to do it forever. And in style. "But what about philanthropy?" they object. "There are people who make great sacrifices and give away vast fortunes. What does that have to do with desire?" Yes, some people do seem to be great givers. But that too, alas, is compelled by desire. Perhaps they are showing off to the God they believe in, just trying to score some points with Him. Or maybe, deep down inside, they are lonely and desire some attention. They want someone to pat them on the ass and tell them what a good job they did. Trust me. And think about it; think about it deeply. Everything is desire. Just because it's walking around in fashionable clothing doesn't make it something else. You can take the pig out of the pig sty, but you can't take the pig sty out of the pig. The Irrational Urge to be Rational
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