ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
May 7, 2004
One of my favorite things to say lately is, “Get over yourself.” I first heard this phrase in what turned out to be John Candy’s last movie, Wagons East. The complete phrase, however, was, “Oh, butch, get over yourself.” I latched onto it immediately, and once I started using it I was amazed at how often I wanted to let forth with it. Take the illegal immigration issue. I want to say it to all the people who are so concerned about it. I just discovered a petition, for example, that’s being circulated by GrassFire.org. This is how it begins:
As a concerned citizen, I am calling on the President and leaders in Congress to establish a National Plan of Action to Secure Our Borders. Illegal immigration is a national security crisis of the highest order and also poses a long-term threat to the American way of life. I support legislative and executive efforts that embody these principles...
I can't resist. Get over yourself! Who do you think you are? What do you think this country is founded on, people like you? No, as a matter of fact it’s founded on people not like you. They’re called immigrants. Immigration is what started this country. The only people who have a right to circulate petitions opposed to immigration are the true honest-to-goodness Native Americans, and somehow I’ve got a feeling you’re not associated with that noble group. And do you know what other feeling I have about you? I’ve got a strong hunch that you’re filled to your eyeballs with Republicanism. “Security crisis of the highest order?” That's just your way of saying they could change life as you know it. So what? Maybe your life needs changing. If I'm not mistaken, I think it's a requirement for people who are sanctimonious and self-centered.