THE OLD MAN
The old man just sat by his door waiting for death to arrive.
He had spent his whole life waiting for it. He had so anticipated its arrival all his long unhappy time, that he waited almost excitedly for it to finally come knocking.
Everything was temporary and fleeting, but death was final and forever. It was the only thing worth waiting for.
Or so he thought.
But when the fateful day at long last arrived, he was surprised to see that death did not look like death at all. It wasn't somber and boding and dressed in that hooded black robe, with the scythe, wreaking the breath of hell. No, it didn't look like death, but more like life.
It was bright and shiny and brash and brimming with energy and downright cocky when it spoke.
"Yeah, I know. Not what you expected. Right? Well, what can I say? Look, we've got a lot to do, so let's get to it. I'll explain everything, but we've got to hit the road. You've got another gig. You see, it's like this. Life brought you into this world, and Life's gonna take you out. Death is bullshit. There's no such thing. It's just some fucked up idea people came up with. They like to sit around being afraid for some reason, just like you sat around your whole life waiting for death. Jesus Christ. Do you have any idea how fucked up that is? But don't worry. There's a lot just like you. And the next place you're going is temporary too. They're all temporary. You just gonna sit around and be unhappy there too? Just because it's gonna end?
Now you won't remember any of this at the next place, even this conversation, but I'm gonna say it to you anyway. Try to do it better next time. Ok?
Oh, and one more thing. There's punishment for wasting your life like you did. And here it is. Do you remember that beautiful girl in college, the one you ogled all the time in English Lit? Her name was Helen. Remember? Yeah, you remember. Hell, I can see by the look in your eye that you still remember. You thought she had the most exquisite tits and ass, most likely to be Miss Universe and all that. You even compared her to Helen of Troy. Well, here's the bad news. You could have had her, every delicious morsel. Trust me. I know these things. And you get to think about that on the trip. Like I said, try to do better next time."