Wayne Holland: The Irrational Universe


Why Everyone Should Go to Heaven


There is a very simple (and a very good) reason why everyone deserves to go to heaven:

No one has asked to be here.

I regard this as one of the most important items we should always carry around with us. Forget your phone, or Swiss Army knife or any other item you feel you must never be without. But never leave home unmindful of the fact that you had no choice about being here in the first place.

Never ever forget it. You did not ask for this duty. You did not enlist. You were drafted.

There is a verse in the Old Testament that actually gives credence to this notion:

It is he that hath made us and not we ourselves.
Psalms 100:3

This verse literally reeks of responsibility - for God, not us.

How can we truly be responsible when we had nothing to do with this party?

We have all been taught (had it hammered into our heads is probably a more accurate way of putting it), all our lives, that we are responsible for our actions (or inactions, as the case may be).

Well, then, if this is true, if we - puny mortals that we are - are indeed responsible for our behavior, how much more so is Deity responsible for Its actions?

God made me? Then He is responsible for me, in much the same way that parents may be held accountable for their children until they reach the legal age of adulthood.

No one should be punished for their behavior in this life by being consigned to the bowels of hell in the next one. No matter what they do. Doesn't matter if they're a serial killer, child molester or whatever. It doesn't matter!

God made us. He is responsible for all our actions. Everyone deserves to go to heaven, because no one has asked for this assignment.

Personally, I think the assignment sucks, at least some of the time. At other times, to be sure, maybe not so much.

Whatever. What I am getting as is that, if I had had a meeting with God before I was placed in the life I think of as mine, and had been given the option of accepting it, or declining it, I am not so sure what my decision would have been.

I suspect, though, that it would have been similar to mulling over the terms of a questionable business deal, terms that we are not as comfortable with as we would like to be. I imagine myself scratching my head, making faces, so clearly doubtful of the whole scheme.

If I did indeed agree to the terms of such a deal, and sign on the dotted line, I cannot help but wonder what the hell for? Why? Was I offered some manner of generous remuneration of sorts for agreeing to be who I am?

This is of course an absurd fantasy. Can we even begin to imagine God undergoing billions of such negotiations with everyone who has ever lived? Talk about insanity.

So ... in the certain absence of such negotiations, we are indeed sitting in the sweet lap of irresponsibility.

Yes, indeed, my brothers and sisters, there is nothing to worry about. Revel in your debauchery, your Dionysian orgies, your utter indifference to any contrived moral codes or work ethics. An afterlife of resplendent glory awaits you no matter what you do.

August 6, 2015

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